Should a Man’s Orgasm Be the End of a Sexual Encounter?

5/5 - (12 votes)


Justin Lehmiller (Social Psychologist) wrote this article.

Orgasm is often seen as the ultimate goal of sex. That’s what sex therapists refer too as the “The End” view. Orgasmic imperative. From this perspective, Sex isn’t really sex People should not approach sex without an orgasm, as this is the only way to achieve sex. But what happens when you have achieved that goal? 

mans orgasm end of sexual encounter

For many people, it means the end of sex because they don’t have any other goals to achieve beyond that. This is a problematic way of thinking about sex, and it’s a big contributor to The orgasm gapThis refers to the constant finding that heterosexual women are less likely to have an orgasmic encounter with their male partners than they are with their heterosexual counterparts.

On average, men are more likely than women to orgasm. According to studies,While men usually reach orgasm within 5-6 minutes for women, it takes them more than twice as long to do so with women, which is between 13-14 minutes and 15 minutes. Also, women tend to go orgasm much faster than men.

Obviously, if men see their orgasms as the end of sex, this is going to create orgasmic inequality—and we need to change that.  

It’s Time to Rethink the Orgasmic Imperative

We must change how we think about sex. This is because everyone suffers from the orgasmic imperative.

When sex is a goal-oriented activity, it tends to take us out of the moment because we’re focused on achieving our goal instead of savoring the other pleasurable things about sex. When we’re distracted like this, we can’t fully enjoy ourselves. 

It can be paradoxically more difficult sometimes to have an andgasm. For example, if you start to worry that an orgasm might not happen, there’s a good chance it won’t. This can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The orgasmic imperative can also lead people to feel like they’re a failure if orgasm doesn’t happen—and this can create anxiety the next time you go to have sex, which can set the stage for performance or other issues. 

Instead of viewing orgasm as both the goal and end of sex, look at sex as an activity that you’re doing for pleasure and enjoyment. You can switch from an achievement-focused mindset to a pleasure-focused one. Just relax and have fun—and remember that sex can be fun even if an orgasm doesn’t happen, and that one person’s orgasm doesn’t have to be the end of the fun, either.

If you treat orgasm like the end of sex, it can cause serious damage to your intimate life

There’s another problem with treating your orgasm as the end of sex, which is that regularly stopping before your partner has the opportunity to climax can end up killing your sex life.

Think about it this way: if the focus of your sexual encounters seems to be all about your pleasure and never about theirs, what’s in it for them? If they stop enjoying sex with you, they’re probably not going to want to do it very often. They might also resent you for it which could lead to conflict that can put a damper on their desire. 

Putting your partner’s pleasure on par with your own isn’t just the right thing to do, it’s also one of the ingredients to a healthy and mutually satisfying sexual and romantic life.

Plus, paying attention to your partner’s pleasure can be hot and fun in and of itself. And watching your partner’s ecstasy just might get you revved up and ready to go again.

Closing the Orgasm Gap

You can make sure that your partner is happy if you are prone to orgasming before you. 

Start by asking your partner questions about their sex lives. What do they enjoy and what are their priorities? What activities and techniques are most reliable for them to have sex? You can communicate well to help you devise a game plan or approach that will be mutually enjoyable. 

To give you some assistance, second, invest in some sex toys. For example, after you orgasm, switching to vibrators or other toys can be a handy way of extending the encounter to your partner’s satisfaction.

Third, consider changing your sexual position. The sexual position most often used by men and women—the missionary position—actually isn’t the one that offers women the most consistent experiences with orgasm.

Research shows that positions where women are on top, such as the “cowgirl” position, are linked to higher odds of orgasm, in part, because they provide more clitoral stimulation.

Fourth, don’t rush through foreplay! Spending more time building up arousal first through oral sex, kissing, breast and nipple stimulation, and genital touch before you get to intercourse may facilitate your partner’s orgasm. 

Men can also extend the time it takes for them to orgasm. These can help make it more convenient to have orgasm with their partners at the same time. YYou may want to try these techniques, which have been shown to aid men in achieving better ejaculatory control. stop-start technique. This is especially helpful for men who orgasm faster than the average.

Conclusions

In short, it’s time to stop looking at the male orgasm as the ultimate goal and end of sex. Good sex is about pleasure and fun, not about achieving goals—and prioritizing your partner’s pleasure is one of the keys to a mutually satisfying relationship. 




Source link

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.