If you’re always looking for ways to improve your relationship with your body and your sex life, then you may have heard of yoni massage before.
It’s a practice that’s been around for a while but only started becoming mainstream a few years ago. It’s not without cause. Vaginal massages can have many health benefits. They can also be a great way for you to learn to love yourself, and to embrace your sexuality.
What is a Yoni Massage or Vaginal Massage?
Yoni is a vagina in Sanskrit, and it means a “sacred place.” Yoni massage is a very old tantric sexual practice that involves stimulating the yoni (aka vagina). It’s a sensual massage that focuses on the experience rather than the orgasm.
This sexual practice is primarily about worshipping the vagina. People with vaginas should approach it with care and respect.
Yoni Massage Benefits
While vaginal massage is not a scientifically proven practice that your gynecologist would suggest, people’s experiences show that it does have a ton of benefits for those who engage in the activity:
1. Sexual Empowerment
Yoni massage is a great way to improve your sex experience. First, it allows you to explore your body and truly learn what you like and don’t in a safe environment. You can feel more connected to your own pleasure when you are free from the pressure of performing for your partner.
Vaginal massage is a great way to help someone with sexual trauma heal. During this practice, connecting with your genitals in a way that’s not necessarily sexual can help combat any negative feelings you might have towards it.
Last but not least, yoni massaging helps to combat the stigma associated with sex, and any shame, which can help you see sex differently and enjoy it more.
2. Reduces vaginal tension and combats pain
It is possible that you are carrying tension in your lower abdomen without realizing it. Vaginal massage can be a great way to lift it. It will help your vaginal muscles relax, and release any negative or toxic energy.
For people who have difficulty with pain during intercourse, you can try yoni massage. It can also help with that. Massage can relax muscles and increase blood flow. With consistent practice, you might see an improvement in how much more relaxed and aroused you’re during sex, which should help with any discomfort.
3. It helps with body confidence
It can make a huge difference in your self-esteem and body confidence by connecting with your body naked. Vaginal massage helps you be more in touch with your body, and allows you to feel comfortable with your body. You will feel more comfortable having sex with your partner, and you will enjoy it more.
Do You Need to See a Professional?
Professional masseurs are trained in yoni therapy. But, prices can vary from $50 up to $300 which may not suit everyone’s budget.
However, if you choose to go the professional route and get an expert to massage you, it’s important to research the professionals and massage places beforehand. Because it isn’t a regulated practice, anyone can claim to be a vaginal massage expert.
And with the sensitive and intimate nature of this practice, you want to ensure that you’re in the hands of someone you trust and who respects you and your boundaries.
How to perform Yoni Massage for Yourself
If you’ve decided to experiment solo, we have a few tips that will surely help you get started:
1. Prepare ahead of time
When preparing to give yourself a yoni massage, the first thing you’ll want to do is set the scene. You’ll want to have a safe, clean space with no distractions. You will want to be able to sleep peacefully, so turn off your phone and lock your bedroom doors.
You want to leave enough time for the massage, so you wouldn’t feel rushed or stressed about things waiting for you on your to-do list.
A relaxing, long bath before you go to bed is a good idea. You can use essential oils or salt to help relax and set the mood. If you’re feeling rather anxious or uncomfortable, setting 10 minutes for meditation can help you clear and prepare your mind.
This is also a good time to be open with yourself and decide what your purpose for entering this experience is. Do you want to get to know and feel connected to your body? Are you fed up with the way you feel about partner sex?
You can even journal your thoughts and feelings beforehand. You can reflect on these experiences later, when you are more involved in your vaginal massage practice.
2. First – Warming Up
Once the scene is set, you’ll want to warm up. The vaginal massage is primarily about the vagina but other parts of your body can also be involved and are important.
Start by gently massaging your whole body. You can start by massaging your body with breast massage. Simply touch your breasts to feel what it feels like. You can touch your nipples, but don’t only focus on the peaks. Instead, run your fingers under and around your breasts.
Next, work your way down to the belly and ribs. Don’t simply skip and jump straight to your vagina. You can feel the sensation of your abdomen’s nerve endings when you touch it.
Your legs should be treated the same way. Go as far as rubbing your feet, slowly, massaging your legs as you go up to the most sensitive parts — your inner thighs. You will feel the sensation all over. Then you can prepare for the next section.
Tantric sex experiences include a lot of breathing, and yoni-massage is no exception. Breathing deep and slowly is the key to allowing your body to relax and improving blood circulation.
Take in the breaths by allowing your belly and lungs to expand fully, inhaling as much air as you can. Hold your breath for five seconds, then exhale slow and deeply.
Repeat the action as you go, and soon you’ll see that it gets easier to keep the rhythm going. Also, if you find it hard to keep your breathing steady as you explore, don’t stress about it. Even if you forget how to breathe, you can always go right back and try again.
And like with everything, the more you practice, the easier it’s going to get. So, just keep going, and you’ll find the right rhythm for you.
4. Find the Perfect Place
You want to feel comfortable during your solo yoni massaging session. The Lotus position is a good option, but you can also lay on your back.
Lotus requires that you sit straight with your legs crossed. Put a cushion or a few under your butt if you feel uncomfortable or can’t fully get into Lotus without straining a muscle. Start to breathe by placing your hands on your knees.
You can also lay down for your massage if sitting isn’t your thing. First, make sure you’re comfortable. To make it easier to reach different parts of your body, you can put a few pillows behind the back. Begin to breathe by relaxing your muscles.
5. Feel Yourself
Once you’re warmed up and comfortable, it’s time to start exploring and getting familiar with your yoni. Start by placing your finger on the clit and then letting your fingers glide around your vagina.
Don’t shy away from using a lubricant to help you explore your yoni. You can use it to lather up your clit and labia, and you can glide your fingers in various patterns and ways to see what feels best.
It is possible to feel embarrassed or ashamed, or even disengaged. But, don’t turn away from those negative feelings and take breaks when needed to allow yourself to relax and understand why touching yourself makes you feel a certain type of way.
As we’ve already established, vaginal massage is not about orgasm but rather about self-discovery and connecting with your body, so don’t pressure yourself to feel a certain way during this practice.
Yoni Massage Techniques
It doesn’t matter if you follow a specific method of exploring yourself. If that is what works for you, it’s enough to feel your yoni or go with your intuition. However, if you’re not sure where to start and how to touch yourself, then you might want to try some of these vaginal massage techniques:
Draw circles around your clit using a finger. You can move it closer, then retreat and then come in closer. Next, place your dominant finger on top of the clit. Circle around to get more intense stimulation. You can also use the non-dominant finger to stimulate more gently and softer.
Your thumb and index fingers should be pressed against the head of your clit. Then, gently move it back and forth. To stimulate different levels of stimulation, you can keep your grip light at first. Then, if you feel it is comfortable, tighten up.
With your index finger, tap the head of your clit in fast or slow motions like you’d tap a button. Next, you can add more fingers for intensity. This will allow you to observe how your body responds when exposed to different rhythms.
4. Push and pull
Push your clitoris towards your navel with one or more fingers. Then pull it up again. Slowly, sync your movements with the breathing, then increase speed.
Cup your vagina holding your palm over it. As you breathe slow and deeply, feel the sensation of just touching your skin. After a while, move your hand up and down, rubbing your vaginal entrance and clit. You can feel it good to move your hand in a circular motion and let your heel rub against your clit.
Use your index and thumb to gently pull your clitoris from your body. Next, use your index and thumb to gently tug on your lips. Then let go. Go back and forth between the two, and remember to be gentle and only tug if it’s comfortable and feels good.
When you’re ready to venture inside, start small and insert one finger inside your vagina. Begin by feeling the nerves near the entrance. Next, insert one finger into your vagina. Move deeper into your uterus to feel the walls better. You can also move your finger in circles. Or, simply push it in, depending on how you feel.
You can insert one finger into your vagina and feel how it feels. Then, if you’re feeling comfortable, insert another finger and repeat the motion, exploring what feels the best.
9. Hit the Spot
You can also massage your G spot during a yoni massage. First, make sure you’re aroused enough, and then insert two fingers curling them inwards. A few inches in, on the top wall of your vagina, you’ll find a ridged area. That’s your G-spot. You can stimulate the spot by rubbing or circling it.
External stimulation can also be achieved by using another hand to massage your G-spot while you play with your Clit.
Get involved with your partner
Vaginal massage can be done on its own but it is also very satisfying to include your partner.
This can help improve your communication skills and your sex experience. It also builds intimacy because you’re doing something very personal and emotionally vulnerable together with your partner.
You can ask your partner to touch you and massage your body, giving back feedback on what feels good and what doesn’t. It’s also going to help you be more comfortable naked around your partner. And yoni massage is a great time for both of you to express your love for each other’s bodies.
It’s a Continuous Experience
This yoni practice is a journey to self-acceptance and love, so don’t be upset if the first time doesn’t turn out perfect. It’s all about exploring different parts of your body and your pleasure.
The best way to achieve this is to treat yourself to a yoni-massage every day and learn new ways to make you feel great.
Karolina Wilde works as a writer about sexual wellness. Her work has been published by The Ascent and P.S. Her work has been published on The Ascent, P.S. You can find her reading, podcasting, and creating TikTok videos in her spare time.