The sense of smell shapes our world in a way we will never fully grasp – so do not overlook its ability to design a new and exciting setting for sex.
Think about one thing – most other senses can be replicated to a degree in a virtual setting, but smells are so primal that they completely evade the digital age and its ability to fake an experience. The olfactory sense basically offers us a shortcut to the unconscious mind.
So, try navigating through sexual experiences with a tool like essential oils and you are guaranteed to open a dimension you never knew existed. Here are some simple tips that will help you avoid beginners’ mistakes.
Avoid skin contact
While it might seem like a good idea to incorporate essential oils into a massage play, it is much smarter to use neutral oils for any massage that will end in sex for a number of reasons. Sex organs are much more sensitive than other parts of our bodies and most essential oils are way too concentrated to even be put directly on less sensitive parts of our bodies. Adverse reactions are very likely if you ignore this fact. Also, keep in mind you don’t want to cover your partner’s smell, you want to complement it.
Keep it subtle
Do not underestimate how strong essential oils really are. A few drops in a diffuser are all it takes to create the right atmosphere. Get overenthusiastic and you might end up with a headache and a lasting aversion towards an otherwise pleasant scent. Subtle whiffs will puzzle the senses in a stimulating way, while strong smells will overwhelm them. Combine several oils in a small enough quantity so that the mixture does not readily reveal its components.
Find the connection with a fragrance
Liking a certain scent is one thing and using its power is another. When it comes to music, it is way more obvious that no song fits every situation, but essential oils are the same. Take your time when choosing them and familiarize yourself with them before use. Close your eyes and imagine the desired scene before smelling an oil or a mixture to use. Think of your partner and the thing you want to do to them. You can get even more concrete, for instance – imagine giving oral sex (if you enjoy it), then smell the oil… does it fit the scene? Also, explore your feelings when smelling it – does it excite you, relax you, or perhaps provoke a vague feeling of mystery? If you do it right, the very process of choosing the oils will be quite joyful.
Run a trial solo session
Masturbation is a sex act per se and it can and should serve as a testing ground for various things you want to incorporate in partnered sex acts. Creating olfactory magic with essential oils is one of those things. Play with your setting while you play with yourself and find what presses the right buttons. Getting experienced requires a trial and error approach, and being on your own creates the safest setting for errors. Especially considering that it is more important to really know what you don’t like than to know exactly what you do like.
Test your partner’s taste
It might be as simple as occasionally putting a few drops of oil in a diffuser and checking for your partner’s reactions. Not necessarily during sex. Or even having them smell different oils from your collection to see which ones they find pleasant and which ones they want to quickly forget. See if you can find those you both like. If you have several candidates, try combining them. Keep in mind you don’t have to waste oil to do so – just put two bottles next to each other and see if the scents tend to “fight” or blend into one.
How to choose the right oil
Some essential oils are almost universally likable, like say lavender – a super easy and non-aggressive oil. But when I think of most oils, I tend to put them in several categories. Some have a clean and refreshing smell – like most citrus oils, tea tree, and eucalyptus. Others are relaxing, invoking the feeling of a spa center, like fir, spruce, or pine oils. And then there are those that have some sort of a story in them – perhaps a bit of erotica or mystery… orchids come to my mind. There are even those that are pungent on their own but tend to function wonderfully in mixtures, for instance, cedar or cinnamon.
Now, when it comes to the most important question – which ones to use for a sexy atmosphere – there is no simple answer. But if your taste is anything like mine, you would want your love nest to smell like a combination of oils like jasmine, patchouli, sandalwood, ylang ylang, or marjoram.
Miroslav is a freelance writer, journalist and a yoga teacher based in Zagreb, Croatia. He is a passionate explorer of human body, nature and social environment in both written and practical sense with a background in daily newspapers and various internet media lasting for over a decade. Sexuality, an animating force of human existence and an important part of the inner energetic circuit, has been Miroslav’s continuing interest, particularly the way it crosses path with spirituality.