Once you get a pet, you will inevitably deal with an issue that might have never crossed your mind before – should I let my pet watch me have sex?
With pets like cats, that is rarely an issue because they are a live-and-let-live kind of animal that will let you do your weird stuff with little if any interest as long as their basic needs are met. Dogs, however, are a completely different story and you can never be 100% sure what kind of goofy, crazy or even hysterical reaction might be in store for you. Most will be funny, but others can be annoying or worse. Some people will want to prevent any issues by locking the dog in another room or bathroom. I urge you to reconsider that strategy – the dog might feel it is getting punished, and you having sex should not be a punishable canine offence.
Sex is natural
Making love is perfectly natural and animals excel at handling natural things. So, if you feel things are weird, it is more than likely that you are the one making them so. The sooner you normalize the whole thing, the better it will be for everyone included. The most important thing to remember is that dogs are not people, so you should not feel shy about being seen by your dog. If you act cool about it, your dog will soon realize it is just one of those human activities that is completely uninteresting to canines.
Feel free to laugh at all the goofiness
The process of getting there is likely to include various hilarious situations. For instance, smelling butts is an important element of communication in dogs’ world, so it comes as no surprise that if you get in the doggy style position, your animal will feel invited to smell the exposed parts. It is as if you are trying to say a phrase in a language you can’t speak.
Also, it will take some time for them to understand that oral sex is not a dog-friendly activity, but before that happens, do not be surprised if you are interrupted while performing oral sex by a snout-bump and an impatient expression clearly saying: “Hey, what’s up with that, would you mind if I had a taste?”
Those moments should be treated exactly as they are – incredibly funny. I have always found laughter to be an excellent companion of good sex and have never had any issues with carrying on after taking a pause for having a proper laugh at the dog’s hilarious goofiness. Humor is important for any type of a healthy relationship and, when I think about it, my dog is the only person in my life that consistently makes me laugh every single day we spend together.
Should you let your dog sleep in your bed?
No simple answer to that one. If you do, you will undoubtedly need to change sheets more often, clean your dog more thoroughly, and adjust some practices, but science is certain that you don’t really risk contracting a disease if you do so.
If you go for it, you will unleash goofiness that might somewhat disrupt your sleep and sexual habits, but you will also reap benefits of having a comforting cuddle with a warm, fuzzy and emotionally expressive animal. That has meant a lot to me in this emotionally disturbing pandemic period.
You’re not the only one with needs
However, some things tend to change once you get a dog, and being spontaneous will sometimes have to be balanced with your dog’s needs. A dog needs to be taken out at least three times a day and it is really smart to include that fact into planning your time, or you might learn it the hard way – by getting interrupted half-way through your intercourse by a dog desperate to have his walk.
Depending on the dog breed and other factors, you might also end up being interrupted by certain annoying behaviors. Those are things you will have to work through – luckily, dogs respond well to proper techniques like redirecting their attention until they eventually lose interest in a certain behavior, but also reinforcing those that are desirable. So make sure you learn how to work with your dog and shape an environment that works for all of you.
And no; pack leader theory does not work, it has been scientifically debunked, and Cesar Millan is actually a rather controversial dog trainer.
Some behaviors can be a sign of deeper insecurities and might need some serious work that goes beyond the scope of this article. Among the things that should be addressed is resource guarding people from other people – in such a case your dog might try to come between you and your partner when you kiss and hug, trying to separate you by barking, growling or even biting. If that happens, it is best to find an expert that can show you how to work with your dog (once again, please avoid those that talk about dominating the dog and choose one that focuses on positive training).
Miroslav is a freelance writer, journalist and a yoga teacher based in Zagreb, Croatia. He is a passionate explorer of human body, nature and social environment in both written and practical sense with a background in daily newspapers and various internet media lasting for over a decade. Sexuality, an animating force of human existence and an important part of the inner energetic circuit, has been Miroslav’s continuing interest, particularly the way it crosses path with spirituality.